The Power of Pinning

As I flew into Vancouver earlier in the month, it was a relaxed and sunny September morning. It was the day after having spent four days in San Jose with 800 like minded individuals with hours of magnificent learning in our heads and anticipation in our souls, but alarm bells were ringing. I could sense that feeling of fear welling up as the ecstatic feel good factor of the weekend started to wear off.

The last four and a half months for me could be described as tumultuous, even in its best light. To the outside world, me selling up my home, totally turning my life on its head, leaving all my friends and family and all that is known and comfortable to me in the southern hemisphere; embarking on a journey of pure trust in the northern hemisphere, could and should seem like madness.

The feeling inside is very similar to the bewildered early days of sitting on a meditation stool at my gym, feeling lost, without purpose and with no idea where I was going. Those feelings still simmer up as I land in an unknown city.

Luckily the tools that I've gained such as The Attraction Program (still to this day a constant companion) and the constant connection with the higher part of me that knows I've taken the red pill and can't go back, makes the experience seem less insurmountable.

Only a few days into the journey I can honestly tell you there have been deep moments of grief and sadness plus some highly elated times of sheer potential. The latter particularly when at the end of the motivational four days of Experts Academy, the presenter Brendon Burchard took us into a guided meditation.

The energy in the massive ballroom was powerful. All 800 people in the room, had made shifts in their emotional being over the weekend, each tapped into the power of potential held within their message.

When everyone else was dreamily wandering around a beautiful green countryside with their joy filled inner child, happily contemplating their future, I got the unexpected.

What I got was a crystal clear picture of my Cute House back in Hepburn Springs.

The one with the garden at perfection with lavender and roses in full bloom. 

It wasn't the one that had punished me with icy cold winds howling through every crevice during our alpine winters.

It wasn't the house with the uninsulated tin roof that became like a tin shed in the red Australian desert every time the mercury hit 30 degrees.

It most certainly wasn't the house that had been remortgaged to finance the dream, to a point where the weight of the debt became too much for one little person to bear.

What I got was the pristine, pure essence of the home that I had loved .... despite what it had thrown at me.

The image shone the pure light of the house that supported so many of my students on their way to greatness. It was the house that pinned me down so hard in a remote location so that I wouldn't be able to cop out and go back and get a "real" job, like I'd been urged to do so many times by well meaning friends and family.

As I sat in the meditation my shoulders were pinned into my chair by the shoulders of the two men beside me. These two men carried an incredibly strong masculine strength. One a very tall surgeon from Germany, seeking ways his expertise can enhance the after care healing of patients after their surgery, the other a very strong family man whose business was buildings.

Being pinned isn't traditionally seen as the ideal spiritual path. My natural first instinct was to lean forward and break free. But there was nothing threatening, it was just the reality of the environment.

I'm beginning to see the power of pinning - it stops you wandering off your path of purpose.

As I fought the urge to free myself, I felt the strength within these strong shoulders supporting me, the yin and yang of my journey represented so powerfully. For the first time in a long time, I felt totally safe. I quietly wept tears of grief and acceptance all at the same time. It felt like the Cute House was coming to say goodbye and urging my soul to pass through these two masculine pillars of strength, and activate the next part of my journey.

What I saw ahead was a dark void but I stepped confidently into it because I've come to understand deeply that its facing the darkness that eventually illuminates the path to the light.

The portal opened quickly and my courage was rewarded. I got to fly. To soar over this magnificent land we were envisaging in the mediation, to soar higher than I had ever been before. It felt amazing. It felt like I was ready.

So why, as we circled Vancouver, a city from the air so beautiful with all its water and trees and natural beauty oozing from every square inch, my home for the next five weeks ......why did doubt drop in?????

The fear dropped in because I'm human.

The difference for me now, is that those moments don't stop me. I know how to honour them for a few moments, then I just get on with it.   

"Your Success is Determined By
Your Comfort with the Uncomfortable"

Paula Abdul

So as I sent the negative thoughts packing and replaced them with the now anthem like phrases from the weekend, "I Believe" and "Its My Time" I looked out the window and there was this weird cloud that was only raining on a small piece of sea, the rest of the sky was blue. It looked tornado like, this thin wispy narrow shape spiraling downwards. It was completely peaceful.

As the plane circled around the cloud to land, the most magnificent rainbow appeared from the cloud. Then as the plane lined up with the runway a second rainbow formed and I was sitting looking at two magnificent rainbows painted lovingly against the grey cloud by the energy of the land.

This double rainbow always reminds me of Dolly Parton's insightful words -

"you gotta get a little rain .....before you get a rainbow"

I saw the same magnificent double rainbow strategically placed over a shopping mall in my last days in Melbourne. As I shopped for last minute items, my ego threw me every negative reason to stay. Then the skies opened and out came the rainbows.

A freak of nature ..... perhaps? Or was it the every present, ever loving voice of spirit reminding me:

I am loved, I am never alone ....... trust! 

The Moral of this Story

• Sometimes you got to give up more than most to get further than most

• Fate favours the bold

• The biggest leaps of faith bring the greatest rewards

• Trust your signs

The rainbow over JB-Hi-Fi Essendon the day before I left Melbourne - sorry seat back and tray table were securely fastened and my camera was safely stored in the overhead locker for the rainbows in Vancouver.